4 / 13 / 2023
Dear Friends,
So here's what I've been thinking about these last few weeks: STYLE.
In particular, the way girls today are expected and/or choosing to interact with their style. Can they own it? Flaunt it? Play with it? Or even . . . monetize it?
The sports arena is an interesting one to explore in this context. We’re working so hard to ensure girls have equal access and attention (and ultimately funding) as their male counterparts, and the element of "style" could be a real differentiator - and opportunity - in this realm. Look at women’s college basketball. We now see hair extensions, false eyelashes, colored hair, and long fake nails . . . all while playing D1 basketball!
It’s incredible to watch these girls strategize it all – to flaunt their unique sense of style, to wink and sass and flourish for the media, and to unapologetically own (or brand?) themselves however they choose.
And yet, I still get conflicted at times. Because while I love that these athletes are teaching our girls a different form of confidence, there’s still a LOT out there telling our girls that the best way to do this is through their sexuality. It’s hard to find non-crop top shirts these days (trust me, I’ve been looking!), and prom, homecoming, and even Bat-Mitzvah dresses are waaaaaay more sophisticated than they were just a few decades ago.
In these tough teenage years, feeling simultaneously embarrassed and exploratory is so so so SO normal! And yet, it almost feels like we - as adults - can't help but comment and criticize. Maybe we feel protective and don’t want our girls to be labeled. Or maybe we’re actually afraid that it’s us, as parents, that will face the real judgement?
I have a lot more to say on this topic, but for now I’ll leave you with this: these girls know they are being watched. Whether it’s by peers or by boys, by teachers or even well-meaning adults – the girls aren’t dumb, they know they’re being looked at. And their reaction to this scrutiny is a journey in and of itself. Maybe for now, we all just try a little harder to have fun with them, and let them figure out their own path for a moment or two.
